Fear
FEAR
Like so many other people, I procrastinate. I have a fairly good work ethic, so why do I do it?
I am convinced that it is because of fear.
I am afraid of failure. But, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The voices of toxic people in our lives, past or present, can harm us. They have told us we are unworthy in so many ways, even by smearing our reputations with others, so they turn against us, as well. If you don't feel up to the task, and feel you will fail, anyway, it really does feel as though it would be easier and less painful to just not try.
The thing is that they were /are lying to you! The things they say have been carefully crafted, or merely thrown up against the wall to see if they stick. They are trying to get a reaction out of you. They will gauge your reactions to see what elicits different responses, just as they gathered information from you during your honeymoon stage of friendship-information to later use against you. They do not want you to do better than they are. They do not want you to feel any joy or sense of purpose or satisfaction, at all. They want do drag you down, to take from you when you are weak, to have their presence tolerated because you are weakened and, finally, to see you suffer, as this gives them some sort of perverse joy. This is unfathomable, but true, and we had better understand it, because this is pure poison to our souls. Their purpose is chiefly to get you off your game by causing you to cease to believe in yourself, your abilities, your integrity and your worth, until you give up in despair and, basically, become as they are.
Another hugely successful tactic that causes inertia as we are striving toward goals in career, relationships, self-improvement, etc. is distraction. The toxic individuals will distract you in any way possible, piercing through your confidence and ability to believe in yourself and your goals. They do this by constantly inserting themselves into your life in any way possible. This destroys our ability to think clearly and to make higher critical-thinking level decisions. It causes us to become stuck in a rut we cannot get out of. It takes away our ability to concentrate. No wonder we feel as though we are getting nowhere! Then, the self-recriminations begin and we continue the soul deadening work they started.
If you are going forward and making progress toward your goals, you can expect the distractions to begin or increase. They will chip away at your time, energy, focus and sense of self worth in any way imaginable until you are off your game and it can take years to get back into that same groove.
I believe that many people are afraid to try, because they know on some level that if they start to do well, if they start to become happy, if they start to make progress, they can expect the other shoe to drop. We have to be tough enough (willing to frustrate them?) to lock and bolt the doors and windows. We must allow them to rage outside, thundering in the spectacle of all their trumped-up glory, like the silly, violent thunderstorms that they are. Safe and dry inside, we MUST take our attention off of that storm! Pull the shade, drown out the noise, take up your pens, books, barbells, camera, cooking utensils, paintbrushes, etc. and press on! ON ADVANCE!!
Like so many other people, I procrastinate. I have a fairly good work ethic, so why do I do it?
I am convinced that it is because of fear.
I am afraid of failure. But, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The voices of toxic people in our lives, past or present, can harm us. They have told us we are unworthy in so many ways, even by smearing our reputations with others, so they turn against us, as well. If you don't feel up to the task, and feel you will fail, anyway, it really does feel as though it would be easier and less painful to just not try.
The thing is that they were /are lying to you! The things they say have been carefully crafted, or merely thrown up against the wall to see if they stick. They are trying to get a reaction out of you. They will gauge your reactions to see what elicits different responses, just as they gathered information from you during your honeymoon stage of friendship-information to later use against you. They do not want you to do better than they are. They do not want you to feel any joy or sense of purpose or satisfaction, at all. They want do drag you down, to take from you when you are weak, to have their presence tolerated because you are weakened and, finally, to see you suffer, as this gives them some sort of perverse joy. This is unfathomable, but true, and we had better understand it, because this is pure poison to our souls. Their purpose is chiefly to get you off your game by causing you to cease to believe in yourself, your abilities, your integrity and your worth, until you give up in despair and, basically, become as they are.
Another hugely successful tactic that causes inertia as we are striving toward goals in career, relationships, self-improvement, etc. is distraction. The toxic individuals will distract you in any way possible, piercing through your confidence and ability to believe in yourself and your goals. They do this by constantly inserting themselves into your life in any way possible. This destroys our ability to think clearly and to make higher critical-thinking level decisions. It causes us to become stuck in a rut we cannot get out of. It takes away our ability to concentrate. No wonder we feel as though we are getting nowhere! Then, the self-recriminations begin and we continue the soul deadening work they started.
If you are going forward and making progress toward your goals, you can expect the distractions to begin or increase. They will chip away at your time, energy, focus and sense of self worth in any way imaginable until you are off your game and it can take years to get back into that same groove.
I believe that many people are afraid to try, because they know on some level that if they start to do well, if they start to become happy, if they start to make progress, they can expect the other shoe to drop. We have to be tough enough (willing to frustrate them?) to lock and bolt the doors and windows. We must allow them to rage outside, thundering in the spectacle of all their trumped-up glory, like the silly, violent thunderstorms that they are. Safe and dry inside, we MUST take our attention off of that storm! Pull the shade, drown out the noise, take up your pens, books, barbells, camera, cooking utensils, paintbrushes, etc. and press on! ON ADVANCE!!
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